Hello, I’m Christopher

I don’t know Billy Ocean / I don’t know the ocean floor /
I don’t own any albums / I don’t know anything / I don’t go to college anymore

  • Park Date Season Two!

    Thank you for all the kind words about the first season of my podcast Park Date! Eight episodes are ready for you to greedily hoof up through your nostrils or ears.

    Season 2 is coming THIS SEPTEMBER…


  • Live At Leeds

    I will be donning a pair of Speedos for this gig in Leeds on Sep 14 at the incredible-looking Hyde Park Book Club. Talking all things Lidos! Now where’s my LS6 T Shirt? Get your ticket here: https://www.seetickets.com/event/lido-chris-beanland-in-conversation/hyde-park-book-club/2396452



  • Thanks Bristol

    Very much enjoyed my little jaunt to Bristol and the West Country. Thanks to everyone who heard me talk at The Architect, and to Jane and Design West for hosting. And cheers to Paris Troy, Martin, Alex and BBC Bristol for having me on Radio Bristol. It was gert lush.


  • It’s a Park Date

    Okay it’s time to reveal the latest waste of time high concept project to emerge from Beanland Towers: my new comedy podcast Park Date! Please review and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and follow on socials here and here

    The website is here at parkdate.co.uk

    I’ve been busily recording episodes for season 1 (if you’re American) slash series 1 (if you’re not) in Boston, Sydney, New York and London, and am in the process of editing them badly.

    There are some really fascinating guests we can’t reveal yet: thinkers, writers, comedians, musicians, designers and flaneurs, with everything recorded outside in different city parks around the world.

    There will also be a ton of original comedy and bad/dad jokes – THIS IS NOT A BORING PODCAST OK?

    The first episode is coming very soon…….. here’s a very silly trailer to whet your appetite


About Me

I’ve written books about:

1 the media

2 brutalism

3 love

4 swimming

5 dreams

Some things you could play at my funeral: thisthisthisthis and this. I’d like everyone there please …including all exes.

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